MONOGOMY IS SOOOOO 10 years agoooo

I think I have sussed it. No really, I think I have. Monogamy is a thing of the past. It’s old fashioned, it’s out-dated. But WHY? Well, I have a few answers to that very question.

Lately, it seems that all I ever talk about, with my Mum, My best girls, my sister, sometimes people I have never met (i.e.the girls you are best friends with for five minutes when you are waiting for the loo) – is this idea that no one wants to settle down anymore – and everyone wants to screw/each other over. Now, I know there are a few exceptions, well more than just a few. My sister, has been with her man for over a decade – they have a lovely house, a beautiful son and a loving relationship. My best childhood friend also has a husband, a beautiful son and a permanent smile.

However, the older I get, the more and more I see and experience the pathetic excuse that is falling in love and staying in love until you are too old to know what the fuck love ever was.

I am not naïve. I know as well as you do that adultery and fidelity has always happened. Of course it has, it was just different for previous generations. The house wife would be at home all day looking after the children, the man goes off to work and comes home smelling like a woman other than his wife. So does she go crazy? Cat scratch the shit out of the little bastard until he confesses? No – reputations were far more troph-ied in the olden days. She would take a deep breath, and smile, and use the rest of the lard left in the fridge to make him something delightful for dinner. Stereotypical of me, yes, but that was just how it used to be. Maybe the lard thing went too far. But if a man was made a cuckold, he wouldn’t be able to live it down, and if a woman had to leave her beautiful house to move back to her parents’ house she managed to escape from in the first place – how would she cope? What about the children. THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

Nowadays, we don’t seem to give two shits about our reputation. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – I am all for being you and not caring what others thing, but perhaps this is why we do what we do and get caught. Because everyone else is doing it? I mean, even the media reinforces it. Drake calls us Bitches and Minaj thinks it’s cool to have multiple men craving her boo-tay, those bloody awful reality TV shows promote it to the point where I want to cry a little, even adverts on the TV tell us to ‘cheat on butter,’ (I can’t believe it’s not butter and not forgetting Lurpacks recent valentine day campaign telling men to ‘give her a knob from us…I’m sure like me, you had a guilty chuckle, but then thought…REALLY?!) No bloody wonder.

Not only this, we are a nation of big mouths, we love to stick our nose in other peoples businesses. We are all gossip queens, even the blokes. But previous generations would keep themselves to themselves, it was polite and expected. Remember being told off by the g-rents for being ‘nosey’ and sticking your snout in? That’s because they never did.

The main factor - one you all know I detest but embrace – technology. So Mr Fifty’s husband is out on a business trip, he doesn’t have his girly calling him and texting him, turning a little coo-coo because he hasn’t replied to her. ' iknow you've seen it, my phone now tells me so! They didn’t have all this ruddy technology back then, lucky buggers! Fifties fling calls the house phone and Wife answers, fling hangs up. ‘How strange darling, another one of those blank calls!’ There wasn’t caller ID back in those days. No Facebook profiles to stalk, emails to read, text messages to query! Nothing. So if he was doing the dirty while his wife was doing the dishes, how was she to know? Or him, because I am very aware that it is not just men before we get on to some sexist debate.

So people would have  there fun, get it out their system perhaps, I mean we are only human as the cliché phrase goes. But then, once it was done – it was done, and perhaps after it was these couples grew old together and we call the Grandma and G-Pops.

Then we have this ‘lad culture,’ a chauvinistic, egotistical narcissistic movement that is eating men from the inside out. The ‘plaaayaaahs’ and the new gen wana be Don Juans who don’t want to settle down – unless two of their mates have – who break up with their girlies – because two of their mates did the same. I will say here, that these guys that we all fall for, some more than others AHEM, are just products of their society. So we have to cut them some slack,can you imagine a charming gentleman taking you out for dinner, and greeting you with flowers (again there are exceptions) he would probably endure a lot of abuse from his social group and more than likely be called gay/queer/bender/etc. The guys that wear lower cut tops than we do aren’t interested in the quiet life, they just want to shag. Cause that’s all they ever see eachother and everyone else do. CHEERS MEDIA.

 The other thing. Because we don’t settle down at sixteen anymore. We have baggage. Loads of baggage. Baggage we insist on being friends with. And this drives us insane. ‘We are still good friends.’ Yes but you fucked her and I can’t handle the fact she texts you sweet little kissy messages all the time. Girls do it, my ex boyfriend used to get texts from his ex mess around allll the time, at stupid o clock in the morning (and you know when you drunk text someone they are the wunnnn) WHY? Put yourself in my slippers girl, you’d hate it if I was texting your man at vom o’clock, telling him how drunk I am, and how he should have come out tonight ex oh ex fucking oh.

Stop it, leave eachother alone. We are all putting doubts in eachothers heads alllll the time. One of my best boy buddy’s in the whole wide world, I love him to bits and would do anything for him, but I don’t feel the need to text him all the time ESPESH when he has a girly on the go. I see him out sometimes when he visits the home town and it’s amazing to see him, and we party and we laugh and that’s it. Until next time buddy, catch you on the flipside as the say.

I am not saying we are a nation of cheats, because there are some exceptions, and they are beautiful. But it’s a shame that these perpetual relationships are the exceptions and cheating on each other isn’t.

No comments: